Tell Him
by Glitterb1234
Summary: Entry for The Fruit's On The Vine Contest. Getting Pregnant was easy. Finding out was easy. Now comes the challenge: telling him.


**Hey Guys! Long time no talk (as per usual :P)**

**So this is my entry for The Fruit's On The Vine contest, celebrating Jadalulu's pregnancy. Give her a read if you have the time, she's a really great author, as were all the other entries. All the authors who entered, plus links for the entries posted on their profiles can be found on the contest twitter page, TwiTFotVContest.**

**Anywho, here goes nothing! This is the first thing I've written that's not in the book canon, I hope it came out okay.**

**Enjoy! :)**

**Glitterb**

* * *

I sat at my kitchen table, head in my hands, staring blankly at the unassuming little white stick with its two pink lines. I hadn't moved in the minute and a half since I'd first seen them, after five minutes of anxious waiting and a whole morning of building anxiety.

How could something so small be so devastating?

By contrast, Alice and Rosalie were perfectly calm, sitting either side of me with almost smug smiles on their faces while my world seemed to crumble around me.

"Isn't it obvious Bella?" Alice said, still grinning. "You're going to have a baby."

"About time," Rose giggled – _giggled! – _not seeming at all phased by the glare I shot her in response.

I groaned and dropped my head onto the table top. So much for female solidarity.

Alice and I had been friends since we were tiny. We grew up in the same small town in Washington, went to all the same schools, and ended up going to the same college together in New York. Our parents had been friends for years, although mine had lived in Forks _forever _while hers had moved there just before they had their first child, her older brother Emmett. Rosalie had rounded out our little group in the first year of college – she was Alice's roommate and my partner for a Psych project – and we'd been inseparable ever since.

Now, at twenty five, we were all married – Rose to Emmett, Alice to Rose's twin brother Jasper, and me to Alice's other brother Edward – and the other girls had started families. Rosalie had freaked out – pretty much like I was now – when she'd found herself pregnant towards the end of our senior year, but Emmett had been absolutely ecstatic, happy to provide his services as a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold or, more often than not, a punching bag through all the craziness that followed. Rose graduated with a bulging belly, and got married five months later with a fussy baby Henry in her arms and a huge smile on her face.

Alice did things in a more conventional order – graduation, marriage, baby – but ended up with her own drama when her eight week scan revealed twins. Tiny little Alice carrying two four-pound-six-ounce babies was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen – although there was hell to pay if you laughed at her to her face of course. She always said it was worth it; Peter and Charlotte were the joy of her life, prompting her to expand her fledgling clothing company into children's wear.

Which just left me. Despite dating since I was a junior in high school, it took a lot of convincing before Edward got me to agree to marry him, after my parents' divorce when I was fourteen tarnished my view of the whole institution of marriage. He'd been incredibly understanding when I told him I wanted to wait a little while before having kids. But although he insisted he was fine with just being 'Uncle Edward' for now, it was impossible to miss the longing looks he sometimes gave Henry, Peter and Charlotte when he thought no one was watching him. It always sent a tiny twinge of guilt through me, but I never felt ready to talk about it with him.

Clearly, Fate had had enough of my stalling.

"Really Bella, it's not that big of a deal," Rose insisted, patting my shoulder sympathetically.

"Yeah," Alice chirped. "You're married, totally in love, you have a big enough house, Edward makes more than enough to support both of you, and you could do your job from home if you really had to. I really don't see why you're freaking out so much."

I sighed; they had a point. We both had stable jobs, Edward as an executive at an advertising firm and me as a junior editor at a publishing house. I could easily work at home, since all I really needed to edit was a computer equipped with a word processor and e-mail. What was I so worried about?

Oh yeah. I was going to be a mom, and I wasn't 100% sure that I was ready. And I still had to tell Edward.

Details, details.

"What's wong wiv Auntie Bewa?" a little voice asked from somewhere near, and I turned my head just enough to see Henry, his face ceased with worry.

"Nothing sweetie," Rose assured him, patting his dark curly hair lovingly. "She's got a grown-up problem, and she's having a hard time figuring it out."

Henry nodded solemnly; he had been taught not to ask questions about 'grown-up problems'. He came around the table, patted my knee with his chubby hand, and scampered back to the living room to play with his cousins. I found myself wishing that I could go with him; life was so much simpler for toddlers.

"Look Bella," Alice said, finally serious. "We can't tell you what to do here. It's your choice and no one else's. But I really think you should take some time to consider all the options, and don't do anything before you talk to Edward about it." She glanced at Rosalie, who nodded in agreement, then patted my hair. "We'll be here for you, whatever you decide."

I smiled a slightly watery smile, struggling to hold back the tears that had sprung into my eyes out of nowhere, and sat up so I could hug her.

"Thank you," I whispered. "You're right, I just need some time to think." I pulled back and gave a serious look. "But you guys can't say _anything _to _anyone_. Not even Em and Jazz, and _definitely _not Edward. Promise?"

"Promise," they both agreed in unison – a slightly creepy habit of theirs – and gave me another hug before going to gather up their various kids and belongings. I waved goodbye from the door, then quickly hid the pregnancy test in the bottom drawer of my bedside table and started on dinner. By the time Edward got home from work an hour later, I was perfectly composed, at least on the surface. I couldn't completely get rid of the feeling that he would take one look at me and know my secret, which my rational mind knew was completely impossible but which I still couldn't seem to shake. Clearly, logic had decided to desert me for the time being,

Edward walked into the kitchen, as usual, when I was halfway through making dinner, looking delectable with the top button of his shirt unfastened and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, suit jacket hanging over his arm and his tie hanging from his fist along with his briefcase. I was home before him almost every day, bar the rare occasions when I got so caught up at work that I didn't leave until my boss all but kicked me out, but he still smiled like it was the most wonderful surprise to come home and find me there already. Even after eight years, somehow this man kept finding new ways to make me fall in love with him all over again.

"Hey beautiful," he murmured, kissing me sweetly on the cheek. "Good day?"

"Not awful." I shrugged, trying to sound blasé. "Finally got the second draft of that romance novel I was telling you about."

"The one with the implausible Romeo and Juliet ending?"

"That's the one." I smiled; yet another wonderful thing about Edward: you could always count on him to pay attention when you were talking to him.

"How about you?" I asked, putting the lid on the pasta sauce I was making and going to the fridge to fish out the ingredients for a salad. "Did you finish that make-up ad you were working on?"

"Yep." He grinned. "We pitch it to the company on Friday, and if they like it, it goes onto the production guys and I don't have to think about it anymore."

He fist pumped and started dancing around the kitchen like he was a teenager again. I shook my head, but couldn't help smiling at his adorable silliness.

We ate dinner, exchanging more happenings of the day and idle bits of gossip from our respective workplaces. I told him about Alice and Rose's visit, thinking I could maybe lead into my news, but then chickened out and didn't mention it, instead relaying a story about one of Henry's preschool classmates that made Edward laugh for a solid minute.

I took a shower while he did the dishes and curled up on our bed with a book while he took his. When the water shut off, I was hit by another sudden bout of nerves, and by the time he joined me in bed, I was curled up under the covers facing away from him. Undeterred, he slid in behind me and wrapped one arm around my waist. When his hand settled on my stomach, I stiffened involuntarily. Again, logic wasn't on my side; I knew I didn't have a bump – yet – and my reaction only caused Edward to sit up on one elbow and lean over to see my face, a little frown pinching the skin between his eyebrows.

"Are you alright?" he asked worriedly.

I forced a smile and nodded. "I'm fine. Just tired, that's all."

He eyed me worriedly for a moment more. I just kept smiling, praying that he would drop it. Then he kissed me lightly on the lips and brushed my hair back from my face.

"You'd tell me if it was something more serious?"

"Of course," I said, barely more than a whisper. Oh God, he was going to see through me. Calm Bella, stay calm...

Edward sighed and gave me a small smile of his own, the crooked one that I loved so much. "Alright then. You get some sleep, and I'll see you in the morning. I love you."

I smiled more genuinely, leaning up to kiss him again. "I love you too. Goodnight."

We settled down again, his arm still around my waist, and I found that I really was as tired as I'd pretended to be, drifting off to sleep in no time.

When I woke, it was with a start. My eyes popped wide, and my forehead was covered in a light sheen of sweat. The clock on the side table read 3:30 in the morning.

I breathed deeply, trying to dispel the image that had haunted me moments before: me, standing in the middle of the kitchen downstairs, stomach bulging, surrounded by squealing, dirty children, a crying baby balanced in the crook of one arm while I stirred a pot on the stove with the other hand, Edward's voice yelling angrily from the living room and tears streaming down my cheeks. Just remembering it made me shudder, and I took a moment to re-orient myself in reality. Edward's arm was still a warm, comforting weight on my waist, his soft breath brushing against the back of my neck; thankfully my sudden jolt hadn't been enough to wake him.

I rolled slightly onto my back to look at his face, so peaceful in sleep. He was smiling a little, the same crooked smile as before, his lips twitching a little every now and then. As I watched, they parted and he started mumbling to himself. It was habit we both had – talking in our sleep – and we'd woken each other up on more than one occasion, thanks to our shared tendency to start shouting during particularly vivid nightmares.

"Bella," he murmured sleepily, but so sweetly at the same time; it almost made my heart ache to hear it.

"Love you," he continued. "Love my girls."

Girls? As in, plural? Could he be dreaming about what I thought he was dreaming about? Hope filled my heart without my permission, and once it was there I couldn't shake it... not even considering the fact that he could very likely be talking about my boobs. I rolled all the way over, cuddling against his chest, and his arms instinctively tightened around me. He leaned in, nuzzling his head happily into my neck.

"Pretty baby," he muttered, almost a coo, and I was now almost sure I was right about his dream. It bolstered my confidence just a little to imagine him having those thoughts; it made my own nightmare seem completely ridiculous. I needed to give my subconscious a talking to before my dreams started to make me doubt my husband's love for me. Because I knew Edward would never let me get in a position like that if I didn't want to, and that he'd always be there to help me, not getting angry and threatening to leave like he had been in my nightmare. Reassured by my own logic, I tucked my head more snugly under his chin, and drifted off into much happier imaginings of our future family.

~TH~

Work the next day was a fight to keep control of my concentration. Several times I found myself reading over the same paragraph of a manuscript two or three times, my mind wandering away to consider my own dilemmas even as I tried to force it to focus. Though I'd slept soundly after my nightmare, to the point where I actually slept through my alarm and Edward had to shake me awake, I was exhausted, stopping every five minutes to yawn or stretch and struggling to keep my eyes open every time I blinked.

Around twelve I finally gave up and decided to go for lunch. As I walked towards the elevators, planning to stop by my favourite deli and eat in the park for a change of scenery, I passed my boss's office and paused. Assuming I went ahead and had the baby – which was looking like the most likely outcome right at the moment – I was going to have to alter my office hours, maybe take some time off.

Okay, so there was no 'maybe' about it; I would _definitely _have to take time off. I'd seen how pregnancy and giving birth had affected my sisters-in-law. They'd been completely wiped out, Alice especially, sleeping almost as much as their children for the first few weeks, and then coming up against massive separation anxiety when they tried to leave them alone for even a girls' day out shopping. It was why Alice ran her own business from home, why Rose had decided to be a stay at home mom until Henry started school – they couldn't bear to leave their children.

That was another of my many fears: the feeling that I was going to lose part of myself, become so completely obsessed with this little person that I couldn't even leave the house. I was a workaholic by anyone's standards; though my hours were shorter than Edward's, I did overtime and brought work home far more often than he did, and usually more willingly. The idea of not working as much, or not working at all, was more than a little unsettling. But, like it or not, I now had a responsibility to fulfil, and that meant I would have to have this discussion with my boss at some point. Why not get it over with now. My resolve strengthened, I walked to the door and knocked lightly.

"Come in," a voice called, and I quickly opened the door and slipped inside, closing it gently behind me.

Carmen Camargo, the senior editor of Denali Publishing, was one of the multi-layered people I had ever met. She could be stern and authoritative when she needed to be, and she wouldn't accept any excuses from people who missed deadlines or were late to meetings. She wore neat grey power suits and bright red lipstick, and I'd seen her make grown men practically wet themselves with just one stern look and the mildly threatening tone of her voice.

But I'd also seen the other side of her, the side that loved her husband Eleazar and doted on her three daughters, Tanya, Kate and Irina, the side that wore sweatpants at company picnics and offered every new intern a welcoming smile and a piece of good advice. I'd been one of those interns three years ago; fresh out of college, nervous and stuttering, hoping I would make a good impression because if I did well, it could lead to getting my dream job at only 23. Carmen had graciously taken me under her wing, helping me in every way she could while still allowing me the independence to prove myself. She was almost as happy as I was when I got offered a permanent position, and we'd been friends ever since.

"Bella," she greeted me with a smile, getting up from her desk to give me a hug. "You know, I feel like I haven't seen you in such a long time. How are you, dear?"

"I'm good," I said with a smile of my own. "I was wondering if I could talk to you about something quickly. It can wait if you're busy."

Carmen shook her head. "Nonsense, I always have time for you. Please, take a seat."

We sat down side by side in the chairs that faced Carmen's desk, and I felt oddly reassured that she didn't sit in her usual chair, sure that the feeling of being in the principal's office would be too much for me.

"Now, what can I do for you?" she asked, still smiling invitingly.

I took a deep breath, trying to settle myself a little, but still unable to raise my eyes from where they watched my hands, twisting together in my lap. "Well, I was wondering if we could discuss altering how much time I spend at the office. I was thinking about cutting down my hours, doing a bit more work from home." I shrugged. "It wouldn't be right away of course, but in a few months' time-"

I was cut off by a sudden shrill squeal from Carmen. It was not a sound I was used to hearing from her, and when I looked up, startled, she had one hand over her mouth and a happy twinkle in her eyes.

"Bella, does this mean what I think it means?" she asked excitedly, all but bouncing in her seat.

"Um..."

"You're pregnant?" she squeaked, and I looked around reflexively, as if to check that no one had heard her. Then I gave her a nervous little smile and nodded.

"Um, yeah, I am, actually."

She squealed again and hugged me tightly. "Oh Bella, I'm so happy for you! This is wonderful news!" She pulled back abruptly and studied my face seriously. "But you seem apprehensive. Is something the matter? You know you can talk to me if you need to, dear."

I tried to relax a little, make my smile more genuine. "I'm fine, really. I just... well, I haven't told Edward yet, and I'm a little nervous about his reaction."

Carmen nodded sympathetically and patted my arm. "Of course you are, though I'm quite sure you have nothing to worry about on that point. You know, you're going to have to tell him eventually."

"I know," I assured her. "And I will, I just haven't gotten around to it yet. I only found out yesterday."

She nodded again. "Of course, of course. Have you made a doctor's appointment yet?"

"No, not yet." I shook my head.

She grinned and jumped up, going around to her side of the desk and grabbing a pad of sticky notes and a pen.

"Tell you what, I'm going to give you the number of my doctor. She's very good, got me through all three of my girls with no trouble at all, and she came to me highly recommended by several women I know who've had less than straightforward pregnancies." She scribbled down a number as she spoke, then pulled the note off the pad and passed it across the desk to me. "You're going to lunch now, right?"

I nodded.

"And I'm sure you're having trouble concentrating with everything that's going on."

I blushed and nodded sheepishly again.

Carmen gave me a warm, knowing smile. "Well, you go get something to eat, then when you come back, I want you to call Dr Uley straight away and set up an appointment. That way you can at least settle yourself a little bit. And if you need to leave a little early, that's absolutely fine."

I smiled back. "Thank you Carmen. I really appreciate your help."

"It's no trouble at all, dear. Off you go now, don't want to waste any more time. You'll pass my congratulations on to Edward, won't you?"

"Of course." I nodded and stood, giving her one last grateful wave as I left the office, my smile a little wider and feeling lighter than I had all day.

~TH~

When I got back to the office, I got online and did a little bit of research, just out of curiosity. Dr Emily Uley ran a private clinic specialising in pregnancy, childbirth and paediatric care. Her website included a feedback sections full of glowing praise from satisfied patients and, to my surprise, even quoted her fees. I was a little worried when I saw that she was private, worried about costs and insurance, but there were several assurances that most insurance companies – including mine – willingly paid out for her services, and after a quick check, I found that the prices she quoted for basic maternity care were lower than those I would have to pay if I went to a hospital run by the state. Fully reassured, I called the number that Carmen had given me, and by a colossal stroke of luck found that Dr Uley had an opening at 4:30 that afternoon. Oddly enough, rather than making me nervous, having a set time actually helped me calm down and get some work done. I'd always been that kind of person, fond of structures and routines, but not really a fan of surprises. So much was unknown and unpredictable at the moment, it was settling for me to have just one thing I could be sure of, even if it was only something as simple as the timing of a doctor's appointment.

I stuck my head into Carmen's office just before 4:00 to let her know I was leaving, and she gave me a beaming smile and another reassuring hug before she let me go. My office was in a very central business district of New York, while the clinic was in one of the city's more well-off suburbs, on the other side of town from the more reasonably priced area that Edward and I lived in. It took me a while to get out of the traffic-clogged streets, so long that I started to worry that I hadn't left early enough to make it there on time, but I did eventually reach the clinic with almost ten minutes to spare.

After checking in at the desk, I sat in one of the waiting room chairs, which were far more comfortable than any other doctor's office I'd been to before. But I still found myself fidgeting nervously as I glanced around the room at the other people waiting. Two moms were chatting animatedly just across from me while their kids, who looked about three and four, played on the floor at their feet. A chubby baby sat on one woman's lap, alternating between tugging at the chunky necklace around her neck and clacking the bangles around her wrist together, seemingly trying to make as much noise as possible. A few seats down from me, a young couple sat poring over an interior design magazine, presumably browsing a spread of nursery designs. The woman looked like she was days away from popping, her stomach stretched further than I thought it was possible for a human body to stretch. I was almost afraid, until I saw the absolutely elated look in her eyes, the tender smiles she exchanged with the man beside her, the sweet way he had his arm around her waist so that his hand rested on her belly, rubbing gently back and forth. The whole waiting room was full of similar scenes, and I got so wrapped up in my people watching that the sound of the nurse calling my name made me jump. Trying not to shake, I got up and followed her into a well-lit examination room, where she quickly measured my height and weight before leaving me sitting on the bed in the corner. She had barely been gone two minutes before another woman walked in. Her dark skin contrasted with her white lab coat, making her almost appear to glow, and her shiny black hair was pulled back out of her heart-shaped, smiling face in a neat up-do.

"Isabella?" she asked, looking up from the clipboard in her hand.

"Bella," I corrected with a smile, holding out my hand.

She shook it warmly. "It's lovely to meet you Bella. I'm Dr Uley, but feel free call me Emily if that will make you more comfortable. So, I see you're here to confirm a pregnancy?"

I nodded shyly, but Emily's wide, calm smile was relaxing me more and more as I spent more time with her. She began asking me questions about my menstrual cycles and sexual activity – which made me blush a little – then about what had prompted me to take a pregnancy test, which tests I'd taken, how I was feeling in general and any specific symptoms that I'd noticed. Honestly, there wasn't much; I was about a week late getting my period, which had only slipped my notice because I'd been pretty busy with work, and I felt more tired and hungry than usual, which I'd also attributed to workload and stress. It was only when I'd mentioned these things to Alice and Rose that the pieces had fallen into place, and they'd pretty much forced me to take a test.

When Emily was finished with her questions, she ran a few tests just to confirm that I really was pregnant, and when the results came back positive – causing a whole new round of butterflies to erupt in my stomach – she set up a basic ultrasound in order to determine how far along I was. I started biting my lip without really thinking about it, and blushed when Emily gave me a knowing smile. The cool gel made me jump, and tickle my skin as she moved the wand around across my lower stomach.

And then she flipped a switch and the screen lit up with a fuzzy, black and white circle segment, lines arcing back and forth... and one small, oblong shape that broke the pattern and had the vague shape of a human being but would probably be better described as some kind of weird space alien.

I couldn't explain even to myself exactly why I started to cry, but nevertheless, the tears began to flow unrestrained. Emily handed me a small bundle of tissues from a box on the machine's stand – clearly kept handy for just this kind of occasion – and gave me a moment to collect myself before she started taking measurements, explaining what she was doing in a soft, soothing voice that further helped me calm down.

"Well, from what I can see here, I'd say you're about 8 weeks pregnant, which makes your due date... sometime around August 13th."

I let out a startled little chuckle.

"A special date for you?" she asked curiously.

I nodded. "It's our anniversary. Next August will be two years."

Emily grinned. "Looks like you'll have an extra special present for him then. Let me get you a print-out of this, and we can make you a follow up appointment for about two weeks' time."

She went over the normal schedule of appointments and check-ups while I cleaned myself up, and I left her office with a spring in my step and a blurry scan in my purse, fully converted to the idea of a baby as a very, very good thing.

~TH~

I found myself descending into a bundle of pent up nervous energy again as Edward showered that evening, worrying about how to tell him, what to say, how he would react – what I was going to do if he reacted badly. I couldn't concentrate on the book that I was trying to read, and eventually put it aside, recognising that it was a lost cause. When he came out of the bathroom, he found me staring blankly at my hands and gnawing on my bottom lip.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked worriedly as he sat down on the bed, gently smoothing my hair and surreptitiously checking my forehead for a fever.

"I'm fine," I insisted, catching his hand and holding it in mine. "There's just something I need to talk to you about, and I don't know how to start."

"Okay…" He looked completely confused by this point.

I bit my lip and looked away, trying to collect my thoughts.

"So, I left work early today-"

"Good," He grinned, relaxing a little. "You work too much."

I rolled my eyes at him and continued. "-Because I had an appointment with a doctor."

Bad place to start. Edward grabbed hold of my arms, a panicked, frantic look in his eyes.

"What! You said you were fine! What's wrong? Please tell me, is it serious? Oh god, it's serious, isn't it? I'm going to lose you. I can't lose you Bella, I'm not ready to lose you."

I was shaking my head before he was finished, and I put my hand over his mouth to stop his wild rambling. "No, no, no. It's nothing like that. Well, I mean, it _is _serious, but not _bad _serious, just…" I shook my head again, laughing at myself. "I knew I wasn't going to be able to do this right."

Now Edward just looked perplexed again, with a hint of panic still lingering around the edges of his eyes as he waited for me to explain. There was no way around it anymore; the more I put it off, the more I was going to keep going round in circles and making him upset.

_Now or never Bella, _I told myself. So I just went for it.

"I'm pregnant." I said, breaking the tense silence that had settled around us. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I felt instantly lighter, like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, feeling tears of happiness begin to form just from finally saying the words out loud.

It occurred to me after a moment that the room was still silent. I opened my eyes and took in my husband's face, frozen in shock. I sat, waiting, but he didn't speak, didn't move, didn't even seem to register that I'd spoken. After half a minute or so of total silence, I started getting edgy again, my happy bubble popping abruptly.

"Edward?" I said, my voice small and scared in a way it had never been before when I was talking to him. "Honey, please say something. Please."

He blinked twice, as if waking up from a trance, and his mouth opened and closed a few times before he could make a sound.

"You're… we're… there's a… in there?" he finally spluttered, pointing a shaking finger at my stomach.

I nodded.

Then I was in his arms, crushed tightly against his chest with his lips pressed almost violently against mine. My heart soared, the bubble firmly back in place.

_He's happy, he's happy!_

Eventually, Edward pulled back, and his smile was beaming.

"We're having a baby," he whispered, almost to himself, still sounding totally awestruck.

I just nodded again and smiled widely.

He grinned. "I can't believe it. This is incredible. Oh Bella, you can't imagine how happy I am right now."  
"I know how happy I am," I said, and my voice wobbled, making me realise that the tears had welled up and spilled over. I laughed lightly and wiped the moisture from my cheeks. "God, I'm already getting emotional. How are you going to put up with nine months of this and not go insane?"

He kissed me again, softly, tenderly. "Gladly. It'll be worth it in the end, sweetheart."

And just for that moment, held securely in his arms and feeling more loved than I ever had in my life, I believed him.


End file.
